its been a while...

its been a while and i'm not in the right head space for posting positive affirmations (apologies)... popped back to try and get my thoughts down and make a few plans.... so this week the landlord has given us two weeks notice of a rent increase.. mines going up by £150 a month ... not so tragic for the boys as they pay more anyway (bigger rooms) but my increase is a kicker... granted the LL hasnt put my rent up in 15 years so part of me is very grateful; ive had an easy ride compared to some but my critical self (admit it, we all have it!) is thinking why didnt he just put it up gradually over the past few years and then it wouldnt be such a shock now.. im shit at budgeting (taking my mothers and the ostrich approach) and as he plans to sell the house next year im now faced with a situation of having no savings (i know, i know.. stupid woman!!), facing 50 and facing a move that i dont want (as cant afford to buy this place off him) possibly out of LDN as the rental market is so over-priced and i cant afford to live on my own... the boys have their own plans and im not included which i understand but it doesnt stop me being fearful of the future... and i'll miss the kitties which will  break my heart.... :(